Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart
I was in a toxic relationship . After some time my girlfriend died, her name was happy . Still got no clue of her body and here i am lying on the bed so f@cking happy.
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
It’s been a terrible day today my ex got hit by a bus and died. Not only this but the council cut my bus drivers permit
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarf’s saw them they sang… “Look at those high Ho’s! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo’sssss!!!”
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
My ex died in an anchorage accident. She always was a sleeping hooker.
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence
I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
2 friends are talking and the one says, “I had a good day today, I ran into my ex.” The other guy replies, “How is that good?” The Friend says, “I was in my car.”
What does an astronaut call his ex from space? SpaceX
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife. So my ex who wouldn’t leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I’m not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol
When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room
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