Ex jokes

My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

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My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

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I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…

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What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder

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Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."

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MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

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If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people

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My ex is like aids!!! I can’t get rid of him How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.

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What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT. (I capitalized important parts of the joke)

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My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!

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So a girl says to her ex I can’t get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we’ve the girl replies I see you in everything like htm title=' even at work like trash cans are everywhere'>when I’m walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere

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I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.

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Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear

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Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

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