Ex jokes

What does an astronaut call his ex from space? SpaceX

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So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."

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One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

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Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

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Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time,look at a ugly dog,and smell the garbage

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I was in a toxic relationship . After some time my girlfriend died, her name was happy . Still got no clue of her body and here i am lying on the bed so f@cking happy.

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my ex missis me but her aim is geting better

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Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die

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My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

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I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

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Words that have ho in them: Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)

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i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips

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My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!

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