Ex jokes

one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube

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My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

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i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.

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MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

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I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)

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Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

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I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text Welcome for the rhyme

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I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…

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When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room

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Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence

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Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.

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A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

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My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher

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I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

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