I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips
some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room
Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence
ex-bf’s gf: your so ugly as hell me: oh did I mention that i was trying to be you
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time,look at a ugly dog,and smell the garbage
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn’t shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane? Time’s up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it. How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door? Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door. Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators. How did she survive? Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.
My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."
Ex: baby i miss u me: sorry i cant talk im at a funeral Ex: who died?! me: my feelings 4 u bitch
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