Ex jokes

My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.

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if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.

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I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)

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If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people

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i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

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What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife. So my ex who wouldn’t leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I’m not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol

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I wish my ex wife would take me back. :(

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ex-bf’s gf: your so ugly as hell me: oh did I mention that i was trying to be you

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my ex missis me but her aim is geting better

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“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”

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So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."

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Words that have ho in them: Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)

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How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it

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My ex died in an anchorage accident. She always was a sleeping hooker.

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