Q:Why did the father through butter out the window?A:he wanted to see a butterfly
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
When Bubba’s condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time then, she asked me flirtatiously “have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?” I said, “Nope, not yet”. She drank a little more, and said, “well, darling, tonight is your lucky night.” So she took me to her place. She took out her keys opens her door turn on the light and she yells towards upstairs "Mom, are you still awake?”
my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She’s got my sister’s eyes.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father. His father says, “Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it’s time I gave you this.” And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes. The young man says, “Dad, I’m honored, ” as tears well up in his eyes. His father says, “Hi, Honoured, I’m Dad.”
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier
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