My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away
Daughter: Dad Dad: Yes honey Daughter: Im Lesbian Dad: Ok Daughter 2: Dad Dad: Yes? Daughter 2: Im lesbian too Dad: GOD does anyone like boys around here Son: I do…
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack was surprised to see she had different eyes and that’s when he realized… Jack had f@cked Jill’s daughter
When Bubba’s condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
To All The Naruto Fans: sharingan is red rasengan are blue if you dare touch my daughter ill chidori you
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got the see either of them and they are now extinct
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
what’s the difference between Nemo and my dad? Nemo was eventually found.
what do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha
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