Family jokes

Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!

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I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. – I didn’t want to interrupt her.

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”.

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy

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I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said “how sick?”. I said “well I’m in bed with my 12 year old sister”.

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There once was a brother and a sister so one night it’s storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I’m scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don’t tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks “what’s that?” And the boy replies with “that’s my pet snake” and the girl asks “can I pet it?” And the boy says “sure just don’t tell Mom” and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks “what happened” and the girl said “I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it’s head off”

My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

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Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent!

Orphan: -no response-

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What is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs

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After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me? ! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

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My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away

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Dark humor is like a dad not everyone gets it

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Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

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Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over.

My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

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Q:Why did the father through butter out the window?A:he wanted to see a butterfly

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Most states:

“It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.”

Alabama:

“She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”

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Whats the difference between a lambo and a boner

Your sister didnt give me a lambo

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I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified

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