My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She’s got my sister’s eyes.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
jack and jill went down to hell to fetch ur mothers bladder her bladder broke u two are soaked and now u have a daughter cuz in that bladder was me
Teacher: Ok class I’m going to ask a question about your family. Alex: Miss my Dad died In 9/11 Teacher: OH NO IM SO SORRY! Alex: Don’t worry miss It was only Dad and besides he did what he wanted before he died. Teacher: What was that? Alex: Flew the plane.
what’s the difference between Nemo and my dad? Nemo was eventually found.
My Mom said: I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied. Well i said: Have you seen her?
1st daughter: Dad I;m lesbian! Dad: oh OK! 2nd daughter: I’m also lesbian Dad: WTF does any 1 in this family love d!cks?!? Son: I do…
my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.
You want to hear a dirty joke? This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m f@cking my sister” and hangs up the phone
A son walks up to his dad and says "Dad! I just had sex for the first time." The dad goes "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it? “ The son says "I cant sit right now, my butt is very sore.”
When you’re f@cking your boss’s daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up
You know whats the worst about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull her hair when you hit it from the back “Dad, how do stars die?” – “Usually an overdose.”
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005
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