“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
When I become a parent I’m gonna regergetate my food to feed my children. It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him ??????
So there I was f@cking my sister and she’s shouts “god you f@ck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”
Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!
White 40 year olds love little white kids and so does trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter! So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier
To All The Naruto Fans: sharingan is red rasengan are blue if you dare touch my daughter ill chidori you
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says “God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad.” The father says, “Good bye Grandad? Why is that?” The daughter says, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can’t believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter’s prayers again. She says, “God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, “Just because I felt like it.” The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn’t know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, “God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy.” The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn’t go home and stays there until midnight. He’s very surprised. ‘I’ve cheated death!’ he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, “Where have you been?!” and the husband says, “Oh don’t ask me any questions, today’s been miserable.” The wife replies, “Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch…”
What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette
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