Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father’s son and your father’s father, you’re your own grandpa!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
Knock knock who there interrupting cow interrupting cow moo ??????????????????
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a “two for one special.”
Dad: how was your trip to the park? Daughter: it was good until the man came along. Dad: gasps whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened? Daughter: he made my friends go away so it was just me and him… then he took my dress off… Dad: oh God, what next? Daughter: Nothing, that was it. Dad: oh, come on! that wasn’t exciting, make something up!
What the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter? A-doll Hit-her! Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No… Girl: I am the principal’s daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No… Boy: Good! Walks away
1st daughter: Dad I;m lesbian! Dad: oh OK! 2nd daughter: I’m also lesbian Dad: WTF does any 1 in this family love d!cks?!? Son: I do…
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent! Orphan: -no response-
Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again
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