My family is like a apple tree my sister is that ugly one that has to ruin in What do tampons and your sister have in common!
Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
Who named their daughter Macadamia? A couple of nuts.
Mr smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr smith have Tell me answers in comment box
Tits are like Lego bricks. They’re there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
my 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story she gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist , the cashier scanned it and replied with " ma’am this item is worthless "
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers? Brother; because their beautiful! Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren’t. Brother:…
So there’s this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says “I’ve got an idea!”, and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies “Well for your daughter, Denise” “That’s a nice name” comments the mother, “but what about my son?” The uncle simply replies “Denephew”.
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due his skill in disappearing.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work… He’s a suicide bomber.
There once was a brother and a sister so one night it’s storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I’m scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don’t tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks “what’s that?” And the boy replies with “that’s my pet snake” and the girl asks “can I pet it?” And the boy says “sure just don’t tell Mom” and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks “what happened” and the girl said “I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it’s head off” My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
When you’re f@cking your boss’s daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
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