Why did the Santa go to work because he was just trying out the work ????
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? Daddy
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away
Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? A:He only comes once a year.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com
My sisters name is coco and one day she was funny so I told her you Coconut
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, “Just because you killed the butterfly, you don’t get butter for a week.” They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, “Nice try.”
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
my 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story she gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist , the cashier scanned it and replied with " ma’am this item is worthless "
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father. His father says, “Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it’s time I gave you this.” And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes. The young man says, “Dad, I’m honored, ” as tears well up in his eyes. His father says, “Hi, Honoured, I’m Dad.”
What’s the best part about plowing your cousin? -It makes your sister jealous
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him ??????
My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk
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