Fight jokes

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. “The’re in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes.”

-2

-1

* * *

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting? I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!

-2

-1

why are cheetahs the best animals? The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour. A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds. Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue. Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms. One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances. Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs. While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day. A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away. Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision. With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight. Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.

-2

-1

* * *

An handicap and an orphan get into a fight the orphan says at least I have two functional legs the handicap at least two functional parents

-2

-1

* * *

Women be like men cause wars forgets men fight those wars while they fake cry

-2

-1

* * *

I’m just gonna say it. And don’t get offended but I’m so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male. Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc. But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions. Men have to go to war on the front lines. Boys have less

See more... (about 1 min.reading)

support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness. Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven’t ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It’s because no one will take a man’s protest seriously because the media is always against the men. Man-rape is unheard of in the media and I’ve never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist. We are expected to gather up our guts ask a girl to be their girlfriend, we have to take them on dates, pay the bill, buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months worth of the money the man has made. And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars. It’s because most males do not want females to get hurt. Yet we are criticised for this. I propose a idea that on the 19 of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work. etc. Whose going to put out all the fires? The two fire’women’ at the local fire station. Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary’s and the receptionist? Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they’re are no men around. Let’s show them how wrong they are. (this event can be done worldwide) Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males. (I’m not against feminism it’s just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere. But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want and never get criticised or face any consequences.)

-2

-1

* * *

how do you break up blind people in a fight? scream i put my money on the guy with the knife

-2

-1

* * *

What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green? Three zebras fighting over a pickle.

-2

-1

how do you get two deaf people from fighting? turn off the lights and walk out.

-2

-1

* * *

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? – Because the octopus was well armed.

-2

-1

* * *

Little Johnny walked into his parents room to see them going at it.He asked his mom what they were doing and she said uh were play fighting and he’s like with no clothes on and she said yeah and so he said let me join you then… Two friends were walking in a forest they started to fight. A cannibal came and shouted food fight!

-2

-1

* * *

What do gay people call fighting it cant be beef so… Carrots???

-2

-1

* * *

So my dad said to me and my sister don’t fight but did he mean “fist fight” or “yelling fight?”

-2

-1

* * *

Why were condoms invented, so gay guys can have sword fights.