Fight jokes

my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time

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What do you ca an Irish man that breaks up fights? Liam Malone

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What the the vegetable say to the other before the fight? Time to beet your maker.

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i hate it when couples get into a little fight and the change their Facebook status to “single”. i have fights with my parents but I don’t change my Facebook status to “orphan”.

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I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone. My dad and cancer go into a fight never saw my dad after that

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A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”

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Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running. Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda look like me.

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Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????

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If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be “Alien vs Predator”?

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What do gay people call fighting it cant be beef so… Carrots???

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I don’t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single I fight with my parents but you don’t see me change my status to Orphan

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why did the dog cause the fight because it was a bulldog

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What do you call it when a Mexican and a Pedophile fight each other? Alien vs Predator

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Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting? A: Because they were fencing.

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