Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE
I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P
My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS
wood fired pizza? hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O please drop a like
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring
why was michael jackson fired as a guitar teacher because he fingerd a minor
Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.
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