Fire jokes

1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim?

A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy?

He died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words…

“you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance…

Only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours…

Lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My aunt worked as a human cannon ball

I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired.

I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024