Fire jokes

Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

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Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.

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What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.

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A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

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There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring

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Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

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Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

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What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired

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I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.

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What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

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