School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.
Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.
I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels
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