a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…
my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels
Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory? For Throwing Out the W’s A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire Hot wheels
Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.
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