I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.
Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory? For Throwing Out the W’s A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P
There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it
What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant
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