Fire jokes

My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”

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Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

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my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang

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What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”

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1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

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Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement

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Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.

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why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary

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Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

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whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it

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What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant

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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.

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Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying

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