Fire jokes

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.

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Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted

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What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring

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What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired

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Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

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I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.

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What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.

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i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

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a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

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I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

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