Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s
I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.
My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS
Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire Hot wheels
I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
whats stephan hawkings called on fire hotwheels:)
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
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