Fire jokes

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.

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The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.

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whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it

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My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”

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yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s

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What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.

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Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.

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why was michael jackson fired as a guitar teacher because he fingerd a minor

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What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”

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Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

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Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

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Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your

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my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang

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why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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