Green jokes

what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs? …a girl scout that got hit by a car

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What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds? Kermit in a car crash.

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What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens? Lettuce eat brussels!

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What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene’s children? Artifical vanilla come from a beaver’s asshole, the children from an asshole’s beaver.

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What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby with burst armbands

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When do you go on red and stop at green A watermelon

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What’s red and sits in the corner? A baby chewing on a razor blade. What’s green and sits in the corner? Same baby, one week later.

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What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad? The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

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Me: Know one likes shrek he is just a fat green guy friend hey stop talking about me

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What did the green light say to the red light - don’t look I’m changing

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What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green? Three zebras fighting over a pickle. Roses are red Grass is green I think of you sucking my peen

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what turns green to red in a flick of a switch?A frog in a blender.

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What’s red green and smells like shit …red and green shit

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what is green and looks like a school bus a school bus

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Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone, “Boo.” “Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?” Jack sat down next to her and smiled. “I figured today was a

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