Green jokes

Everytime i come in the kitchen my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food like the fried chicken the mashed potatoes the collard greens mac and cheese and the corn bread. Then i said i wanna eat some of that shit i love soul food then i told her you keep it up your fat ass is going to big like house on a haunted hill.

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how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her

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What is the difference between a climate change and the green house effect once a philosopher twice a sodomite

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Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, Brown and yellow? So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms

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What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green? Three zebras fighting over a pickle. Roses are red Grass is green I think of you sucking my peen

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What happen when someone shot the Hulk? He got gangryeen. Gangrene+green+angry

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I could be red I could be orange I could be yellow I could be green, I could be blue I could be purple but I would be dead

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What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

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what’s green then red all over and goes 100mph? a frog in a blender

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A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked “Dad, what are you wearing?”. The father would answer with “A costume for Halloween.”. the child asked “can i join?”. He said no, for he said it’s their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

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What’s red and sits in the corner? A baby chewing on a razor blade. What’s green and sits in the corner? Same baby, one week later.

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Why did the camle cross the road Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass

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Whats green and sticky? … a stick.

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What’s green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What’s green and smells of bacon ??? KERMITS FINGERS?? Why is a cabage green? Because its in Greenland

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