Green jokes

Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,

“Boo.”

“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”

Jack sat down next to her and smiled.

“I figured

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Stephen Hawking is intelligent. He is not as green as he is cabbage.

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What’s green and smells like bacon?

Kermit’s finger.

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Whats green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger.

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Whats green and sticky? … a stick.

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What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

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What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?

Lettuce eat brussels!

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f@ck the green bay packers

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What is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?

…a girl scout that got hit by a car

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Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

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Person A:Hey,what’s the next subject? Person B:Let me check. Person B:It’s greenglish!

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Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?

Because they will get turned into a pancake even more

Its not funny i know

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This dude right here don’t look nothing like no damn tyrese gibson. He look like a hot fishy tail termite all dress in green makeup.

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What’s red and in a corner? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner? The same baby three weeks later

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What’s green and smells like ham.

Kermit the frogs fingers

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