My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me why the hell did I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me????
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything
how to make holy water 1-grab a pot 2-put water in it 3-set the stove to 420 degrees 4-boil the hell out of it
How do angels ?? make holy water ??? They boil the hell out of it.
If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don’t wake up, and you were on your way to hell
Why are short people so angry?? Cause their closer to hell
My version of the Roses are red Poem in MW3: I thought Soap could trust you And so did I too So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day Give a man a poisoned potato, hell be full for the rest of his life.
What is Steven hawkins favorite song? Highway To hell The teacher asked a young boy in primary school “Can you tell me the alphabet?” To which the boy replies “No” The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet. At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks “Can you tell me the alphabet?” “Shut up” she replied The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks “Can you teach me the alphabet?” But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!” The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet. But his brother is singing “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!” The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet. But his sister is singing “In my big red car, in my big red car!” The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet. The boy replies “Shut up.” “Alright, I’m sending you to the principal’s office right now.” The boy replies “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!” In the office, the principal says “who do you think you are?” The boy replies “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!” The principal now says “how do you think you’ll get away with this? ” The boy them replies “In my big red car, in my big red car!”
Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you.
If you don’t like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON’T ACCEPT YOU HERE! If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at and if they cry, just say ‘hey here are your parents’ then grab nothing. perfect example.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?
me:gives her 5 dollars climb that flag pole cute female:takes the money and goes up the flag pole is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw next day heres 10 dollars if u do it again she goes up there me:hows the veiw she goes home and her mom sees the money her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter: dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:…
Jaylie ??: I don’t care, what he said was so out of line! Harvey ??: It’s funny! Jaylie?? : He said “Stupid, silly bitch face I raised! I should have known!” That’s not funny, harv! Harvey ??: Come on Jay. Give Chris a chance? Jaylie ??: Sorry but I’m a stupid, silly bitch face he raised. He should have known! Harvey??: That’s not true! Jaylie ??: He even made fun of Kalierien. She is so sensitive! Harvey ??: SHUSH!!! Kalierien??: Hi guys hows your day? Harvey??: Good! Jaylie ??: Mine was like living in hell! Kalierien: ??SAME!!!
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