A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him “Hey man What the hell you doing? ”. Blind guy says “Just looking around”
How do you make holy water? You take normal water, and boil the hell out of it.
What is Steven hawkins favorite song? Highway To hell The teacher asked a young boy in primary school “Can you tell me the alphabet?” To which the boy replies “No” The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet. At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks “Can you tell me the alphabet?” “Shut up” she replied The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks “Can you teach me the alphabet?” But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!” The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet. But his brother is singing “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!” The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet. But his sister is singing “In my big red car, in my big red car!” The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet. The boy replies “Shut up.” “Alright, I’m sending you to the principal’s office right now.” The boy replies “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!” In the office, the principal says “who do you think you are?” The boy replies “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!” The principal now says “how do you think you’ll get away with this? ” The boy them replies “In my big red car, in my big red car!”
Bick: Jesus isn’t real. Ron: Yes he is. Bick: Prove it, bitch. Ron: Cussing is a in. Open the curtains. Bick: Wh- Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT. The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell. Ron: f@ck you, Jesus. Bick: Told you Jesus was real. Satan: Get to work, slaves. Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can’t laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ‘‘this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don’t you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ‘‘What do you ca…’’ out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ‘‘Why are you laughing I haven’t even finished the joke yet’’? The blonde replies ‘’ I just got the first joke’’.
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget and I am now traumatized to hell, the next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend. :) Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes! Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.
Kobe never missed a shot but he missed the helipad I’m going to hell!!!
why the "hell :) " is this here
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing. “Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!” Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth. He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!” They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!”
Dark humour : hell !!! aren’t people racist !!!
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell There’s a stairway to heaven.
Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.
A Chinese moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He bought a home on a small piece of land. The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these ‘Chinese customs’,
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