My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me why the hell did I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
what did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast his left sholder
A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, “Can I touch it?”. The little boy looks back at her and says, “Hell no, you already broke yours off!”.
3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: “Local calls are free”.
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he’ll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he’ll fly for the rest of his life. I’M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
jack and jill went down to hell to fetch ur mothers bladder her bladder broke u two are soaked and now u have a daughter cuz in that bladder was me
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”
A kid gets home from school and find his mom and dad having sex, the kid asks “what are you doing dad” the dad replies “having sex with your mom son” and he starts laughing The next day dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan, the dad shouts “what the hell are you doing son” the kid replies " it’s not funny when it’s your mom is it"
Why are short people so angry?? Cause their closer to hell
How do you make holy water? You take normal water, and boil the hell out of it.
How did hellen Keller know she went to hell? SHE DIDNT
IDK if this is a joke or a question but If killing yourself send you to hell where does siting in the waiting room get you?
What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
Why can’t heaven and hell ever be one 2nd paradise? Heaven always has 5 star reviews.
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