me:gives her 5 dollars climb that flag pole cute female:takes the money and goes up the flag pole is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw next day heres 10 dollars if u do it again she goes up there me:hows the veiw she goes home and her mom sees the money her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter: dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:…
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me why the hell did I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing. “Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!” Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth. He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!” They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!”
So… here’s da scoop, alright… licks KFC off lips so, I was caught, having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean? I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: “Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?” Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me? But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13! Alas, I’m writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I’ll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Why can’t heaven and hell ever be one 2nd paradise? Heaven always has 5 star reviews.
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me????
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he’ll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he’ll fly for the rest of his life. I’M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
What is Steven hawkins favorite song? Highway To hell The teacher asked a young boy in primary school “Can you tell me the alphabet?” To which the boy replies “No” The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet. At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks “Can you tell me the alphabet?” “Shut up” she replied The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks “Can you teach me the alphabet?” But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!” The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet. But his brother is singing “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!” The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet. But his sister is singing “In my big red car, in my big red car!” The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet. The boy replies “Shut up.” “Alright, I’m sending you to the principal’s office right now.” The boy replies “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!” In the office, the principal says “who do you think you are?” The boy replies “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!” The principal now says “how do you think you’ll get away with this? ” The boy them replies “In my big red car, in my big red car!”
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell There’s a stairway to heaven.
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, “mark, what would you like to eat?” Mark said, “I’d like some f@cking potato’s.” SMACK! mother slapped mark. She then asked suzie, “what would you like to eat?” “Well, I’d like some f@cking potatos” said suzie SMAACK! she slapped suzie. “Ok. Johnny, what would you like to eat? ” Well… I sure as hell dont want no f@cking potatos.
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
My friend:What are you doing Me:I?m making holy water My friend:How? Me:I?m boiling the hell out of it.
how to make holy water 1-grab a pot 2-put water in it 3-set the stove to 420 degrees 4-boil the hell out of it
Addison Banks Age (8) "I’m a little brat who won’t shut up the hell! And stop talking!
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