High jokes

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”

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As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.

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Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five?

Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

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Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. – He was high on my list of priorities.

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What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one cnt and look at one a*hole

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What happend to the depressed kid who tried to high 5 a tree. Answer- He was left there hanging.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill’s thigh and said “I know you wanna.” Jill said yes, took off her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills and now they have a son.

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Why did the 18 year old girl need s ladder to go to school? Because it was High-School

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What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum low on the spectrum, at least I can write this joke

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Why did hitler kill himself? Cause gas prices were too high

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A depressed kid tried to give a tree high-five but the tree left him hanging

People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.

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Like this if you are in elementary, middle school, or high school

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A e-girl went to go high five a tree but the tree left her hanging

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I’ve just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

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Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly I took one shot puffed through my pipe and jumped in the air on a trampoline I woke up in heaven. I asked an angel how did I die you? "Well little monkey you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head your mom called the doctor and doctor said you were dead.

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