When earthquakes hit coffins become maracas underground
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna “I’d hit that”
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left? Teacher: 502. Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!! Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door. Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door. Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion? Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge. Teacher: WOW! Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How? Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth? Student:The gators are at the party. Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why? Teacher:She drowned?! Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Why didn’t Sally get home from work. She got hit by a bus
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
RUS | ENG
