Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack
I always hit on 16, the get busted
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
I’d Hit You But I Don’t Wanna Go To Jail For Animal Abuse.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
Doctor: what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
Q: what’s stronger than family?
A: whatever tree Paul walker hit
When earthquakes hit coffins become maracas underground
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?
The feather. the rope stopped the kid
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
RUS | ENG
