Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
I’d Hit You But I Don’t Wanna Go To Jail For Animal Abuse.
Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home
The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed
i never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
RUS | ENG
