What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Why did the kid drop his icecream? He got hit by a bus.
what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna “I’d hit that”
what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down
Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!” The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.
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