Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates. When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
What is stronger than family. The tree Paul Walker hit
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
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