Hope jokes

(Jokes for people with cancer) 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don’t have to do this class anymore. 2: I’m dying, finally. 3: I’m sorry, I can’t go to your party because I’m expected to be dead by then. On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I’m getting checks. I hope for the best :/. These people who are offended by rape jokes

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So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” I asked him. He answered “A doctor!”. I wanted to tease him so i said “I wouldn’t be treated by a doctor like you”. I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied “Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet”

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i told my friend to watch naruto, it’s been a week since i’ve seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece

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You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

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I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner The joke is I new right after she said I’ll call you She was lying to me, not surprised even a little The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call , but did I really think she was going to, I’ll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place, I think it was just to prove I was right , I’m unwanted LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS

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twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.

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What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.

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whoever took my anti-depressent pills I hope your f@cking happy

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When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn’t notice. It didn’t matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too

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A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

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After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter… … from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it: 370HSSV 0773H All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren’t able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter. One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6’s help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.

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