When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn’t notice. It didn’t matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too
I hope Stephen hawking was an organ donor cause I need some parts for my go cart While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said “Sorry! It’s been awhile since I’ve possessed a body.” She looked horrified. Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope! Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes. You won’t eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won’t eat a person.
Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.
I hope there is a lift to heaven ?? I shouldn’t be making jokes tho ????
This Dwarf was being mean to me so I said “when you get home I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you.”
My syndrome may be down but my hopes are up !
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him, the first man says, " I have been waiting to cross here for ages, its impossible to cross " the second man says, “there is a zebra crossing up the road”, he said, “I hope he is having better luck than I am”.
We have I hope we have life we have God in Jesus Christ this is a good thing it is a song part
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with “Hey girls, would you like some candy?” They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says “God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes”
To the guy who stole my depression medication, I hope you’re happy
Hey Guys I haven’t been on in like freaking forever! Sorry. Anyways I love you emrald :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I hope your on! Love you all. Hope you all have a nice day, Best regards Koko, <3
Friends are very important . I have lots of friends in very high places I hope the police can talk them down
I was given my Electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me cauz I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up too.
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk
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