A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter. The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter. After the trial, the brother went to the redneck’s house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000. The red neck replied that it wasn’t easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.
what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop. pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly
what is the perfect job for a paedophile a physical doctor for kids
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, "I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, "me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
What’s the difference between a job and a wife The job keeps sucking after 5 years
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? – She was fed up with the hole business.
I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.
what’s the difference between your job and a dead hooker? your job still sucks
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
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