Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
want a kiss daddy wand a blow job
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, "I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, "me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
I hate these double standards. if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn’t know you’re not supposed to do that if you’re a bus driver!
I kept asking these kids where there parents are and they started crying, I walked away laughing thinking i love my job at an orphanage
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said “you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills. ” he hands her a pen He said “sell me this pen” She puts in between her boobs.
As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.
My grief counselor died the other day He was so good at his job, i don’t even care.
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don’t have to leave the house. Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job . My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I; m good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop. pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe? Getting neck!
(To a mexican person) When i first met you I thought you were going to say,My name is enrique i have a job for you.
Guy asked me what I do for a living. Now I’m not old enough to get a job so I said nothing. He asked me again so I said, “Your wife” The guy goes to slap me but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, “You swore not to tell!”
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