Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
What do you call sex in the world trade center?
An inside job.
My grief counselor died the other day
He was so good at his job, i don’t even care.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, "I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, "me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
How come orphans know how to do laundry cause thats usually the moms job
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5…
?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”
Wait isnt this sans job to make a joke?
Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, “No, shes upstairs with Uncle john” “Uncle john? i don’t know an Uncle John.” “no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy” “no i’m sure there’s no one named Uncle John in our family.” “Okay, but why did you call?” Says Sally. “Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy’s pulling into the driveway right now.” “Okay daddy!”
Long pause
"Okay daddy! I did it!’ “Great job Sally! What did she says?”
“Mommy said OH FU… and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like… then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter…”
Then dad replies “Swimming pool? we dont have a…is this 468-1843?”
What’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop.
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly
So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job
Why is there a lot of whites in hockey? It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop
Wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
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