What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job? Snoozin’ B. Anthony!
the teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make mooo said sally good job said the teacher what sound does a sheep make baa said jack good now what sound does a pig make little johnny raised his hand really high in the sky the teacher called him he said htm title=' ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker'>the pig says get on the ground and put ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory. It was soda-pressing.
what is the perfect job for a paedophile a physical doctor for kids
I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.
Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Why can’t orphans get a job? Because they don’t have a home.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain… Me: So… You’re new? Depression: (I don’t know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading… You know… Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job… Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we’re friends! Me: Interesting… (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it’s problemos) Me: Well I think you’re signed up! I’ll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :) AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job
My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
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