what do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job? showing them the ropes.
What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job? Snoozin’ B. Anthony!
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of… My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don’t even care
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
Why did the dwarf get a job at lidl? Because every lidl heps
Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn’t know you’re not supposed to do that if you’re a bus driver!
why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter. The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter. After the trial, the brother went to the redneck’s house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000. The red neck replied that it wasn’t easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.
The teacher once said to some students ?i was an orphan before your principle hired me.? the students said ?oof that is sad? the teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance she said ?is anyone missing? the students said ? your parents.? the teacher got offended and later that day quit her job
What is a pedophiles favorite job? The mall santa.
If you were to ask me, ‘What is the easiest job in the world?’, it would be an Australian psychiatrist. “G’Day, G’Day…how you doing…no worries, next!”.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain… Me: So… You’re new? Depression: (I don’t know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading… You know… Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job… Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we’re friends! Me: Interesting… (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it’s problemos) Me: Well I think you’re signed up! I’ll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :) AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
RUS | ENG
