John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am
What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
Two Native Americans ?????? Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they’re sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, “How would you boys like a blow job?” The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer. His buddy looks over and says, “Hey Joe, what did you do that for? ” Joe replies, “Not sure but it was something about getting a job!”
my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job
A scarecrow said this job isn’t for everyone. But HAY! its in my jeans
Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed. What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer
wait isnt this sans job to make a joke? Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, “No, shes upstairs with Uncle john” “Uncle john? i don’t know an Uncle John.” “no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy” “no i’m sure there’s no one named Uncle John in our family.” “Okay, but why did you call?” Says Sally. “Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy’s pulling into the driveway right now.” “Okay daddy!” long pause "Okay daddy! I did it!’ “Great job Sally! What did she says?” “Mommy said OH FU… and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like… then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter…” then dad replies “Swimming pool? we dont have a…is this 468-1843?”
As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
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