Life jokes

Whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of

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All you need is a Razor Blade in life.

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Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a f@cking oven

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I have a funny joke: my life

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Jesus said to his disciples “Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life”. Thomas came fifth however so he only got a toaster.

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My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h.i.v test w/out studying

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As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

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(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick

I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

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Friend 1: What’s the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

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Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

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Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it.

Guy 2: Is it a hard life?

Guy: Yup

Guy 2: Then you can’t kill yourself LOL

Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the “game”

%%He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

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The closest thing in a depression person’s life is a knife and his/her throat

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My life is like a broken pencil, it’s pointless.

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“Don’t worry! Life goes on”

“Yeah that’s what’s had me worried”

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