When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
Remember kids, when you’re angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they’ll really be living the hard knock life.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
what makes a nuke and divorce the same? it only takes one of each to end your life.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented
whats the difference between life and death…life hurts
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”
Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it. Guy 2: Is it a hard life? Guy: Yup Guy 2: Then you can’t kill yourself LOL Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the “game” %%He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
you looking for jokes? i have one, your life
Define abnormal life. Waking up everyday living a sane life! I liked my life when I first got it…later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
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