twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common? They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
How do you know when an orphan is lying. When they say I swear on my mother’s life
The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
life is like giving head…it always sucks
Website: Submit a joke :-) Me: My life.
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology! ” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying “Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida.” I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was “You unplugged my life support”, that’s when I called the doctor… Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
And the Lord said onto John, “Come forth to receive eternal life”. But John came fifth and won a toaster.
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