Life jokes

My life Tell me when you get it

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The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.

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My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.

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I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born whats sad and has no life . the person reding this

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My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered “Happy”. The teacher said I didn’t understand the test, I said to her that she didn’t understand life

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twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.

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im not suicidal im just speedrunning life

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If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence

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when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life

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Thankfully I’m still alive because I fail at everything in life.

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my happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h.i.v test w/out studying

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The closest thing in a depression person’s life is a knife and his/her throat

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Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.

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Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist.??????

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