Life jokes

Kid: what is the biggest mistake you made in your life. Parents: go look above the bathroom sink *kid goes and looks but then he reilises

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Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?

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What do you do when life gives you lemons Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist.??????

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My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered “Happy”. The teacher said I didn’t understand the test, I said to her that she didn’t understand life

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twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.

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What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")

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You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end

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My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted

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I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.

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The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.

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I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better… But now I don’t know what to do with the letters.

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Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him. They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.

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A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.

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My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

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