Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a f@cking oven
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
All you need is a Razor Blade in life.
What’s a depressed person’s least favorite type of cereal??? LIFE
My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered “Happy”. The teacher said I didn’t understand the test, I said to her that she didn’t understand life
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better… But now I don’t know what to do with the letters.
life is like giving head…it always sucks
Define abnormal life. Waking up everyday living a sane life! I liked my life when I first got it…later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end
whats the difference between life and death…life hurts
Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it. Guy 2: Is it a hard life? Guy: Yup Guy 2: Then you can’t kill yourself LOL Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the “game” %%He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
I am trying to re comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here. Here are some rules to make a good joke: 1: don’t say “my life” 2: proof read your joke, and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it 3: And don’t re post things (although this last one is hippocritical because this was me trying to repost something but it is still a good rule to go by)
Kid: what is the biggest mistake you made in your life. Parents: go look above the bathroom sink *kid goes and looks but then he reilises
RUS | ENG
