Jesus said to his disciples “Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life”. Thomas came fifth however so he only got a toaster.
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
Website: Submit a joke :-) Me: My life.
The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.
Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a f@cking oven
And the Lord said onto John, “Come forth to receive eternal life”. But John came fifth and won a toaster.
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end
“Don’t worry! Life goes on” “Yeah that’s what’s had me worried”
What’s My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa? His life insurance…
why cant the orphan play the game of life? they dont know what a family road trip is. ??
it says enter a joke, but I can’t enter my life.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common? They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
My life Tell me when you get it
life is like giving head…it always sucks
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