Life jokes

What do you call a single bisexual? All bi myself.

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Kid: what is the biggest mistake you made in your life. Parents: go look above the bathroom sink *kid goes and looks but then he reilises

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Little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

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Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life

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What’s My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?

His life insurance…

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Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a f@cking oven

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What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

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Thankfully I’m still alive because I fail at everything in life.

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There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”

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I am trying to re comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here. Here are some rules to make a good joke: 1: don’t say “my life” 2: proof read your joke, and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it 3: And don’t re post things (although this last one is hippocritical because this was me trying to repost something but it is still a good rule to go by)

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My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

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What made me laugh?

The fact that my life is a joke: ")

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Remember kids, when you’re angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they’ll really be living the hard knock life.

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What’s a depressed person’s least favorite type of cereal???

LIFE

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Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.

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