Life jokes

Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.

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My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted

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little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

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im not suicidal im just speedrunning life

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Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him. They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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%%Rules of Dark humor: All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. Sincerely, Zane

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My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.

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what makes a nuke and divorce the same? it only takes one of each to end your life.

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The closest thing in a depression person’s life is a knife and his/her throat

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My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

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Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a f@cking oven

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How do you know when an orphan is lying. When they say I swear on my mother’s life

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I have a funny joke: my life

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What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

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“Don’t worry! Life goes on” “Yeah that’s what’s had me worried”

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