Life jokes

You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end

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When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology! ” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

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In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

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The closest thing in a depression person’s life is a knife and his/her throat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life

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Life is like giving head…it always sucks

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You looking for jokes? i have one, your life

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My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

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If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence

My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships

There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology.

I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up.

If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke.

You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting

Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen

Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya

Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented

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My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h.i.v test w/out studying

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Website: Submit a joke:-) Me: My life.

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Friend 1: What’s the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

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My life

Tell me when you get it

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My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack

I always hit on 16, the get busted

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What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”

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