Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life
my happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h.i.v test w/out studying
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.
Thankfully I’m still alive because I fail at everything in life.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him. They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
People say that life is short I say… Life is the longest thing we ever do
I have a funny joke: my life
How do you know when an orphan is lying. When they say I swear on my mother’s life
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
Friend 1: What’s the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you? Then there is me: My life.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common? They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
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