Little Johnny

So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says “get the belt” Johnny says “why?” His mother says “im gonna spank you for failing” Johnny says “so just like daddy? ” His father turns red knowing what they did last night

Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee, his dad sees this and says “i saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks.” Johnny replies “i don’t care, i don’t like honey anyway.” About fifteen minutes later little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says " i saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little johnny replies “I don’t care, i don’t like butter anyway.” Both little johnny and his dad go in for dinner, johnny’s mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. little johnny looks and smiles and says “do you want to tell her or should i?”

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!” I’m in school lol.

Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven… His Dad says, “WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies… You think I can have some??” Little Johnny asks his Dad, “Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??” His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass”… Little Johnny says, “Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!”…

one day little billy came in pulling up his pants the teacher asks “Where have you been billy” he says on top of beverly hill a few minutes later little willy came in the teacher asked where have you been he says on top of beverly hill 10 minutes later little johnny came in teacher says again where have you been ha says on top of beverly hill a few minutes htm title=' who are you she says i’m beverly hill'>later a girl came in the teacher says who are you she says i’m beverly hill

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. waves her finger around the left side of the room Little Johnny: stands up Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

one day the teacher said “there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?” the teacher calls on lil johnny. “none” the teacher said ‘‘no but try again’’ lil johnny says " none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said’’ not quiter but i like the way you think" lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones sucking it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?" the teacher then says "the one sucking it ofc" lil johnny then says “no the one with the ring but i like the way you think”

Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon a old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad shaking his head. He walked up to the the old farmer and asked him what’s wrong. The Old Farmer said, " my mule, he just won’t do nothing, he don’t work any more, always looking sad, barely eat, just sad." Little Johnny said, “can I

Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: “Can i have some milk?” He waited for three hours to get an answer. His mom finally said: “No your dad still isn’t back with it.” Little Johny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something, Then he sees a plastic di##. He asks his mom whats that and mom didnt now. so when his dad comes home from work he sees him with the plastick di## and says son why uy messing with my personal toy

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, “Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?” Mommy xays, “Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy’s garage, now go and play” A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter. Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, “Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn’t get the back wheels in so l she l took the sissors and cut them off.”

A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

Teacher: Johnny can you use a sentence with definitely in it Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them Teacher: of cause not Johnny Little Johnny: then I’ve definitely shat myself

Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said “ That was the sound of the north wind. The next day his teacher asked the class “ What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”

little johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it and it said take 1 god is watching. He continues walking and sees a bowl of cookies that said take 1 please so little johnny made his own note and he wrote take as many cookies as you want god is watching the apples

Little johnny is a trucker, he stops at a bar. johnny sees a sign that says hamburgers for two dollers, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars. he walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, “are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?” she replies “yes, thats me” johnny says “well can you wash your hands because i want a cheeseburger”