Lost jokes

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU f@ckERS”

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Why don’t orphans like to get lost?? Because somebody’s going to ask where their parents are. There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength. News began to circulate of a Russian

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My Mum texted me she had lost her phone

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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe

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A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…

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What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Ian.

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A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

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Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar Because he Lost May!!

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Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!

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Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection

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My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

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A little kid was lost and he asked me to find his home, I love working at the orphanage

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Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

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I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

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