Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
I tried to find my watch I lost last week but I didn’t have the time
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
when the quiet kid lost a game of basket ball and reaches in to his bag other people in gym: oh shit this nigga bouta shot
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I’d always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite…
Why does us suck at chess? we lost both our towers. Why is england so good at chess? they still have their queen. Why does russia suck at chess? they only have pawns
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs. Gravity sure is fast
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
Why do the japanese hate Christmas??? Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
RUS | ENG
