Would you rather date me or I lady I laid deez nuts in your mouth
What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest? With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.
They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the f@ck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning? It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
I’m so excited for Christmas Pudding… Pudding these nuts in your mouth
What do you call a Dino stripper? A dinowhore
Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth
Ow! you hit the spot!
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
I have a pun, but I will nut-tella you!
Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.
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