What did one squirrel say to the other ‘‘do you have any nuts’’
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted! What’s A Squirrels Favourite OTT? Nut-Flix
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning, he ate 12 year old nuts and a 13 year old wiener
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? Imma cashew
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table 25+ kill streak
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship’s wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
What do you call a Dino stripper? A dinowhore
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel? ” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts!”
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