Why did the squirrel swim on his back? keep his nuts dry.
My puns drive people nuts, this is usually when I bolt away
Would you rather date me or I lady I laid deez nuts in your mouth
What did the squirrel say to the dog? There are nuts in your poop. I found them. :(
Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away
Are you a walnut because I’m about to nut all over your walls!
DR Brody: Sir your son has a disease called boofa dad: whats boofa? DR Brody: both of these nuts in your mouth
why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’” Other jokes: Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing? How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells! How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can’t be tho… he’s allergic to nuts!
They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the f@ck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
my best friend got ligma (ah did he, sorry bro) LIGMA BALLS
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? I think your nuts
RUS | ENG
