A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
Ow! you hit the spot!
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
Hi ?? I was wondering
have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy rhydon deez nuts
you know bofa? bofa deez nuts
Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
at school nobody:do u want nuts me: wait u have some nobody: yeah their my own me: :0
when I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than its always a nut shot
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
have you seen the xbox game sea of thieves?sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth
Are you a walnut because I’m about to nut all over your walls!
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.
Would you rather date me or I lady I laid deez nuts in your mouth
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