Nut jokes

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts

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What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.

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Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

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Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away

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what do u call a nut in jail: a busted nut

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Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth

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2 nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other “I’m-a cashew!”

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DR Brody: Sir your son has a disease called boofa dad: whats boofa? DR Brody: both of these nuts in your mouth

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A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.

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I have a pun, but I will nut-tella you!

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“hey what’s the russian president’s name?” “putin?” “yeah, putin deez nuts in yo mouth”

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at school nobody:do u want nuts me: wait u have some nobody: yeah their my own me: :0

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What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.

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What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

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Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

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