What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
Anybody know a girl named Candice? she just added me on snap
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’” Other jokes: Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing? How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells! How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
DR Brody: Sir your son has a disease called boofa dad: whats boofa? DR Brody: both of these nuts in your mouth
2 nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other “I’m-a cashew!”
do you like wendys? when deez nutz are in your mouth
What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut
I bought a guh on the weekend. (whats a guh?) a GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! ?? ?? ??
I’m so excited for Christmas Pudding… Pudding these nuts in your mouth
What time is it when when a nurse ????? s
What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest? With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy rhydon deez nuts
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Knock knock who is there deez nuts
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
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