A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
Why did the squirrel swim on his back? keep his nuts dry.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…
2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted! What’s A Squirrels Favourite OTT? Nut-Flix
have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy rhydon deez nuts
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant. … I guess her rubber broke too
Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away
What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.
I’m so excited for Christmas Pudding… Pudding these nuts in your mouth
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow
DEEEZ NUTS
can i put deez nuts in yo cluts?
RUS | ENG
