Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted! What’s A Squirrels Favourite OTT? Nut-Flix
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table 25+ kill streak
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. how a about you gobble DEEZ nuts.
Are you a walnut because I’m about to nut all over your walls!
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning, he ate 12 year old nuts and a 13 year old wiener
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…
why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship’s wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”
What time is it when when a nurse ????? s
Do you know wildee? What’s that? Willdeeznuts fit into your mouth
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
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What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut
RUS | ENG
