Nut jokes

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me

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Do you you like Cds. There’s this really cool one called C Deez nuts.

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I bought a guh on the weekend. (whats a guh?) a GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS!??????

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When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than its always a nut shot

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My best friend got ligma (ah did he, sorry bro) LIGMA BALLS

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Ow! you hit the spot!

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How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

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Can i put deez nuts in yo cluts?

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What did the squirrel say to the dog?

There are nuts in your poop. I found them.

:(

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Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

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What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

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Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth

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There is a new kind of jock strap, it only holds one nut. It is called a trump supporter.

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If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

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A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.

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