A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
What is blue but smells like red paint? Blue paint
Q, Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? A, To hide up cherry trees. Q, What’s the loudest noise in the jungle? A, Giraffes eating cherries.
Wow paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
How many babys does it take to paint a wall red. Depends how hard you can throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them. your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using microsoft paint
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red? As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette
r u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)
Dulux have created a new type of paint its called Sue grey it covers up everything.
Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.
What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”
A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned
A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.
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