Paint jokes

A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.

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Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? 327

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw em

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r u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

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What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how many you throw.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red. Depends how hard you can throw them.

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How many babys does it take to paint wheels red? It depends on your speed.

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My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”

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you’re so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.

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how many babies does it take to paint a room red. depends how hard you throw em.

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what do Bob Ross’s painting and the orphanage have in common. They’re both filled with happy little accidents…

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What brand of paint Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch? Dutch Boy.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well it depends how hard you can throw.

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