Poor jokes

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Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.

What’s a homeless persons favorite cookie?

Pooreo’s

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Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14,16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.

The weekly family zoom call went well enough…until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking a little…plump. By the 20th week the 16 year old’s shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18 yr old’s belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14 year old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.

So the father waited until he’d talked to his wife and daughters, and then asked if he could talk to his son alone.

“Look, I know your mom and the girls are all pregnant. I’m not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don’t have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?”

“No, Pop, we haven’t seen anyone since we left the city,” his son told him earnestly. “And we sure haven’t gone into town for supplies, I ran out of condoms on the second day here!”

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What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid, A banana. But if youre vegan you call him food. If youre poor you eat the skin.

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Your mum was poor so she went to rob the bank but she left cuz she couldnt find the cameras. she left her son and the security [girl] gave him the camera.

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What’s a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

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Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.

But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own

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I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.

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Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

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Why do poor people eat insects? Because they’re locust!

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