What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.
What’s the difference between a priest and target? Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
what type of meat do priests eat on good friday? Nun
What do priest and doctors have in common? They both do physicals on kids.
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?” To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?
what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”
The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with, " i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? - they both start at 12.
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!” A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar… He orders a drink.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common? They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
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