Priest jokes

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? - they both start at 12.

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Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

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Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.

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Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.

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What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

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whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns

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A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!” A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar… He orders a drink.

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Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport

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Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10

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What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.

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What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.

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A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.

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What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.

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A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!

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What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest? Father Les.

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