Priest jokes

Why is that kid walking like that? , Oh, he’s an alter boy

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Father O’Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. “Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!”

She gave him a puzzled look. “on what?”

“Your mother tells me you’ve been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it’s a miracle.”

Mary Agnes sighed. “My mother needs to get hearing aids if she’s going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it’ll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I’m f@cking is a St. Bernard.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me. " The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do priest and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest

Nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. “What’s in the box?”, the priest asks. “Christian kittens”, the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. “Ask her what she has in the box”, he says, “It’s the cutest thing!” The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. “Atheist kittens”, she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were “Christian kittens! !!” “They were”, she says. “Now their eyes are open”.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds?

They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Do you know where priests go at night???

To all night sale a boys r us

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024