Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned
I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead. Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife” Priest, “how so?” Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all” Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box" Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again” Then Matt walks out the door Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!” Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.
Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he’s an alter boy
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest “There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!” The priest shakes his head “Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says “Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest? Father Les.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What do a girl and a bar have in common? A- Liquor in the front poker in the back!!
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest
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